my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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