adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
