is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
