i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
