It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
