Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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