If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
