They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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