I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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