im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize