And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
