Is it because I queefed?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
What a dumb baby whore.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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