you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Randomize
