We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
