Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You pole danced in your parka.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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