Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We talked him into tasing himself.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
