He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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