They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
