If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
