Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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