The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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