guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
