Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
