Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
and i looked up. we had an audience...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
