I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
