took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
