Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize