I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
