she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
