No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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