You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
