roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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