Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
