butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize