I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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