so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
