capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
