At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize