Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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