I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
