I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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