is your mom at the bar?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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