Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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