I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize