Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
