I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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