32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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