you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My penis needs a shock collar
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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