I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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