...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
