I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
