i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
