Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
