I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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