somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
