Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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