last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
