I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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