She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
i believe in u and ur pee
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
