My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
